Let the rest of mankind find me if it could.

digging for that Treasure

welcome

No one ever followed his genius til it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal,--that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality....the true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.
--Henry David Thoreau

I am feeling very traumatised.

I had this very disturbing dream, and I can'y help thinking that it's trying to tell me something...that's not necessarily good.

I dreamt my Chinese teacher, Ms Tan, was hit by a MRT train. It was extremely vivid, and strangely I remember exactly how the crash look like, unlike those other dreams where I can't remember what I was dreaming about. I remember the blood, the impact, the unattached body parts, and Ms Tan's distinctive curly hair. It was dam scary, because it was so real. The reason she was hit was because she, someone else and I were looking for something, or trying to find something out, then she realised something. Amazingly, there were stairs leading to the track, so I saw Ms Tan walk halfway down the stairs. I suddenly turned my head to the left, and saw the train approaching. I wasn't afraid or anything like that, and plainly said, "Ms Tan, look." She turned and saw the train, then in a split second, the train rammed at her and chopped of her arms or something. There were blood splatters on the side of the train, and the impact sent her 'flying' to the other side of the track. All I could see was a big red stain, and quickly turned my head the other direction as I couldn't bear the sight. Everyone else in the station rushed to her direction, as if to see what had happened. That mysterious someone else, who I can't remember, and I just stood where we were, thinking something like "Dam it! How are we going to find that something out now? She was the one who knew where the clues were pointing!" No compassion at all, and that's scary.

What was I doing with my Chinese teacher anyway? Not that I hated her, I was indifferent toward her. but the dream would make more sense if it was someone I knew for a long time and not someone I barely talk to. Like Ms Poh, or Mom, or Cyn or someone from Unity. I am not saying I wish it was one of them who got hit by a train, but that you don't imagine your Chinese teacher who has been teaching you for a few months to be hit by a train, right?

Anyway, during lit lesson today, we were supposed to tell the class one scary suspenseful story. We closed all the windows, which are black BTW, doors and offed all the lights to create a scary ambiance. I went first and told them the story of the Black Cat by Edgar Allan Poe. I was reaching the part where he buries his wife in this hollow part of his cellar wall when someone suddenly screamed. The whole class started screaming...it was dam funny! Sharon jumped, Celine cuddled next to Ya Min, and Loraine was rubbing her after it. I was laughing my butt off. They screamed for no reason at all. Ha! Actually it happened before. Yesterday during lit lesson, Ms Vicky, our lit teacher, told us a 'true' Singaporean ghost story she heard somewhere. It happened in Commonwealth Crescent. Like I told you, our windows were black, and they were closed. From the outside, the classroom looked deserted. Suddenly, Mr Ho pressed his head on the windows to see if we were inside. It is very hard to see the inside from outside. Everyone screamed, I laughed. Then, as we were reaching the climax, the side view of Ms Tan's curly hair appeared on the window. When all you can see is hair, and you're listening to a story of a female ghost, you'll get spooked out right? Not me. The whole class screamed even louder this time and Sharon actually cuddled next to me. What a bunch of wimps. I knew they were going to scream as I was one of the first ones to see Ms Tan. Haha. I couldn't help laughing.

// Thursday, April 12, 2007, 4:45 PM