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No one ever followed his genius til it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say
that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and night are such
that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry,
more immortal,--that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The
greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them.
They are the highest reality....the true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints
of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.
--Henry David Thoreau
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There are two words to describe me: 'atheistic' and 'cynical'.
Anything else, you'll have to find out by yourself.
Don't like it, sue me.
And that's the awful truth.
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layout designer and image: eloquent
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Yesterday was the strangest thing.
There I was, happily watching TV, and then, totally out of the blue, my nose started bleeding.
What the hell?
I'm almost 15 years old and I'm still having nosebleeds?
I haven't had one since primary school!
So weird...
// Thursday, April 23, 2009, 10:05 AM
Can you believe it? I slept 12 hours today.
Man I must have been tired.
// Saturday, April 18, 2009, 3:40 PM
I'm at my mom's lab now, doing my homework and catching up on my reading. I can never bring myself to study at home, too many distractions, but I need a familiar place to study in, so I decided to go to my mom's lab. It's raining pretty heavily right now, and the tree outside the 2nd floor (I go there to read. The couches are mucho comfortable) window was really bending under the force of the wind. It was quite nice actually, because I was in the safety of the couch. I think I've been here for 5 hours. I was doing my Chemistry worksheets (Damn they are difficult) for the majority of the time. I've just realised I don't have my Sec 4 Geography textbook so I can't do my Geog assignment, which sucks 'cos I think Mr Chung really dislikes me already and any late submission of homework could compromise this already tense situation. But really, I can't help talking--his lessons tend to get really boring near the end. Ah well, no amount of dislike will ever persuade me to suck up to him. Too bad for him. Anyways its not like I'm completely retarded at Geog. When I study for it I can do really well if I wanted to, and besides, everything is in the textbook so I really don't need a teacher. E Maths test is on Monday (so hold your breath), but I'm becoming very complacent about it. I mean, its just Trigo, which is shit easy, so how hard can it be right? I can't get too complacent though, or it'll be a repeat of the CTs. Man its getting late. Amazingly all I've had to eat today (since breakfast BTW) are two small packs of peanuts (I have to munch on something when I'm reading, even if it distracts me), a can of H-Two-O, a small pack of Famous Amos (Anus) and some tapioca chips. I'm not the least bit hungry. Its getting late though, but my mom is nowhere in sight, so I can't go home yet. Urgh, why does she never bring her phone with her? She said 4 hours, didn't she, and now its reaching 5 hours 30 mins! Well, patience is a virtue (one that has always been lacking in my family). Oh, and just to end off, I cut my hair! It's uber short now and it looks soooo much better. I just hope it doesn't get too poofy in the humidity.
// Saturday, April 11, 2009, 4:37 PM
This place never really worked for me. I really don't fit in, not with many people. On the surface, maybe, but then again, I never reveal too much. As I've said, I don't like people.
So tonight I was staring at the night sky, and because of the sky glow, I could make out the layer of clouds in the sky. And it just so happened that if I tilted my head high enough, I could block out most of the houses opposite the road but still include the tips of the wispy trees that line my road.
Then, do you know what I caught myself doing?
I caught myself imagining I wasn't in Singapore anymore, just some other place. Any place.
This gnawing feeling has grown significantly since my secondary one days. Then it was just a hint of a feeling, more like a passing fancy, but apparently puberty does more than just changing the superficial.
But I need to be careful--to much and I might explode. I don't want that to happen, now do I? Still I can't help but wonder what if...
I guess all I have left is my infinite imagination. Let's just hope that well doesn't run dry, then I be facing quite a predicament.
// Thursday, April 9, 2009, 9:05 PM
I really feel like I'm suffocating.
School is fine, I'm doing pretty well (71% is good enough, L1R5 of 12 is alright I guess), but exams are never very important to me. That is why I don't study as much as I should (as much as C2 does).
I need to breathe!
It has nothing to do with stress. I never understood how people can stay up so late to do their homework when I can't even get pass 9pm without having nothing to do. Things are being done, no doubt, but something must be wrong, or else I wouldn't have so much time.
Ah, but the time! Its all wasted I tell you, studying or not.
I need to get out of here.
This stupid incarceration is killing me.
How the bloody hell do people get through their day? God, don't they feel inadequate? Useless? People who study so hard are wasting their time.
But what can I do about it?
Drop-out of school?
That's Unheard Of!
Mother will disapprove. tsk.tsk.tsk.
I was never made to be imprisoned.
TO CONFORM.
// Friday, April 3, 2009, 8:08 PM
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