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No one ever followed his genius til it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say
that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and night are such
that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry,
more immortal,--that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The
greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them.
They are the highest reality....the true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints
of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.
--Henry David Thoreau
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There are two words to describe me: 'atheistic' and 'cynical'.
Anything else, you'll have to find out by yourself.
Don't like it, sue me.
And that's the awful truth.
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layout designer and image: eloquent
inspiration and coding reference: anxiety
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I really do not understand a thing goin' on in my life right now, and I HATE that feelin': the feelin' that nothin' is gonna make sense unless I make sense of everythin' before it's too late, before the "canary flies out off my hands and out of the damned window". The Pope supports the Death Penalty, you know? "An eye for an eye, a hand for a hand"... hmph. So if i gouge some one's eye out, I'm supposed to gouge my own eye out and give to him? I just can't believe that? What happened to fairness and compassion and all that jazz, huh? Using violence to stop violence? Martin Luther King Jr. once said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that; hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Darkness multiplies darkness, hate multiplies hate, in an endless spiral of destruction." It's one of my earliest and favourite quotes, the one that started my 'obsession' or 'thirst' for more. I know Heaven sounds great and all, and I really want to believe in something like that-- that there's something bigger out there, bigger than you or I, but am I willing to sacrifice all that I believe in just to guarantee my place there? Without suffering, there can be no compassion... well tell that to the people who suffer. There's too much bad shit in the world. Uh... life sucks, but you've got to take everything it throws at you, and you know it'll keep comin', but you still have to, because it feels good to believe. I'm sick of EXAMS man! Talk about sucking the fun out of life! There's always one more around the corner, and when you finally graduate, forget about test, now you have to go find a bloody job, and then low and behold, now you've got major responsibilities. Is it really worth it? All this trouble I mean. Is it really worth working you ass off to get into a good school? I mean, yeah, you'll get a good future, and by this I mean a good job with a mighty big paycheck every month, but is it really worth it? Well, you really don't have a choice, now do you? If you asked me to choose from sleeping out in the streets to sleeping on a warm cozy bed in a big ass house filled with cold cold furniture, heck, I'll choose the bed any time, dude! Why can't life be like the movies? Seriously. Why would you spend soo much time filming such crap when in the end, it's just a gigantic, elaborate fairytale? Just destroys your conception of 'reality' doesn't it? Ah well, I'm sulking here, feeling like crap shit....=) Maybe it's because I might have failed, or done really badly, in my Science Common test, and plus, I didn't bring my fcking Chinese textbook home so I can't study for the damn spelling and class test, which probably means one more test I'll fail. G-R-E-A-T! Life is SOOO good.
// Sunday, August 19, 2007, 5:40 PM
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